But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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