Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
