well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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