god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize