please come you make the beer taste better
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize