if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
