Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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