he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
