Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
