I'm laying in your front yard are you home
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
