Nicole vs. Life
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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