The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
