I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so let's talk penis.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize