my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
