we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
