Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
