so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
