wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
