okay pat passed out under dana's car
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she smelled like a LAN party
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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