what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
