Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
