loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
