Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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