420 ftw
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
