i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
