I think I died a long time ago.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this will be a night to untag.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
