idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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