12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry about my life...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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