Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Come see our sink grown plant.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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