I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
