Sry I called you an 8
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
