Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
