I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
