i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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