Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
