Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
