somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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