school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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