The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you had me at cake vodka
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
