He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
