Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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