you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
