i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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