I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
