We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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