The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
