this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
