HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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