Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
