I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
