in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
