you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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