I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
